Live from the Taconic State Parkway

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We are driving through a downpour in my sister’s Subaru on the Taconic State Parkway. Last night we played in a corner of the Down the Road Cafe in the admissions building of Bard college. I first played this gig in the spring of 2006 thanks to my old camp friend, Rachel. When she booked me at her school it was the impetus for the crazy 6 month cross country tour that I naively embarked upon just before my 24th birthday. Now 7 years later, it’s a small bit of welcomed consistency. Funny.
Anyway, the road just started and Emmett is a champ. Poor kid has managed to still dance every time he hears music even though his sleep has been interrupted two nights in a row. After today’s drive through upstate New York and western Mass to the sweet farm we are playing in New Hampshire, Emmett will have been to over 25 states. It’s a bizarro life. I often wonder if he will remember any small dreamy fragments of this time. What stories will he tell his children? Hard to imagine your almost 18 month old baby as a grown man with his own children, but as everyone says and as I have experienced, it goes with the quickness of a mighty river. Life never stands still for even a breath.

Also, it’s just started to snow.

Spring Tour

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Emmett has been all over. He’s been to more states than most grown-ups and Canada too. Last summer we did about 10,000 miles and managed to not lose our minds entirely. This year we are taking it a bit easier, as Emmett has greater mobility and force of will than last year. We have an almost 18 month old dude on our hands who would much rather play in a bucket of water all day than sit in a minivan. I can’t blame him.

So we are about to leave on our first ten day tour adventure. This week we will fly to my sister, Marisa’s house in Philly (check out her amazing blog> food in jars), then drive to Bard College in up-state NY, then to a farm in NH, then to Cape Cod to play this amazing house concert called No Place Special, then to Long Island for another fantastic house concert. Then a day off at my sister’s high rise in Philly, the place i have longest known, my grandmother’s apartment that my sister inherited around 10 years ago. We used to spend sweltering summer days here when i was young. My beautiful fake-eye-lashed grandmother, Tutu we called her, would take us to the Please Touch museum and Betsy Ross’s house and to the liberty bell. Even with my sister’s long residence, the apartment has held onto Tutu’s scent and in an instant i am always transported to my childhood. Thanks to Rebecca Loebe, Marisa’s house has now been dubbed The Urban Food Sanctuary, as she has delicious cheeses, jams, and physical manifestations of recipes you’d see on some fancy lady’s pinterest board. Right, then a gig in Brooklyn and a house concert in Philly… and then NASHVILLE.

The Folk Documentary is premiering at the Nasvhille Film Festival on April 19th and we get to walk a red carpet and be a part of it! I’ve never been in any sort of film before, so i am pretty thrilled. Before my dreams of folk stardom, i always wanted to be an actress a la Julie Andrews or Bette Midler. Not the cool actress, but the one who could really sing.

So, how does one tour with a baby? You may ask… The truth is, i’m not really sure there’s a cut and dry answer, you just move slowly, breathe deeply and know that at some point you’ll be home. Here’s a list of things that make musical parenthood better:

  • It’s easiest if you have help. This past summer, our dear friend Jaime donated her time to our tour in exchange for coffee, food & travel. We had a dedicated baby lover on hand during shows. It was fantastic. If you can convince a grandparent or bored friend to come along on your tour, that is the way to go.
  • Spend the money on the hotel. I have never regretted getting a hotel room. I used to sleep in my car in waffle house parking lots, but ladies & gentlemen i have moved up in the world and now the priceline app finds us a bed. it’s worth it. Hotels are moderately baby proofed and a space for a little person to run around with abandon is priceless.
  • Snacks, Books, Toys, Phone loaded with Thomas the Tank Engine. Anything that gives you a moment of brain space, feel no shame about using it. Emmett loves eating cheerios one at a time… it’s an easy way to avoid utter meltdown.
  • It’s going to be ok. A show lasts around 2 hours usually. As a mommy, it’s painfully hard to hear your baby cry, it’s painfully hard to know that baby is struggling and you’re not there to sooth him. But as long as the little person has a competent caregiver while you’re playing, it’s going to be ok.
  • Unload, Explode, Hit the road. The best thing about having a baby on tour is that no one expects you to stay up after your show, get drunk and jam all night. Other folksingers may agree that often the most exhausting thing about a show is the socializing post gig. Not to say that i haven’t met some of my favorite people at the merch table and i don’t DEEPLY appreciate getting to know the audience, but if you’re doing it right, you’re pretty beat after playing your heart out all night. Post gig with a baby is way quicker. People understand your tiredness because they have a concept of it. Tour exhaustion is hard to grasp unless you’ve been there.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you and your family are out there creating art and following your muse down into the darkness of the next town, you are doing something really brave and good for the world. You are sharing your love with people. Your kids will see you believing in yourself and thereby believe in themselves. You are modeling good behavior by being so damn true to your heart.

That’s what i got right now. It’s 11:33 pm and Emmett will wake up at 7:45am no matter what i do. Pictures of the packing process will be here on tuesday. thanks for reading!

Where to eat during SXSW (if you don’t want to fall apart)

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SXSW is the craziest time of year for dear old Austin Texas, the live music capital of the world. Most of the year the weather is walkable, the beer flows cold, there is a seat for you at every table, and the tex mex is cheap. During Southby (as we call it) this town becomes a drunk 20 year old with a great fake ID, a penchant for mixing beer with liquor and waking up in unfamiliar places. It’s very attractive and fun, but unpredictable. I have put together a list of my favorite places to eat. I want you to eat your veggies during the day so you can hang later at night to see Prince at La Zona Rosa (wha??!?!!).

HEALTHY HIPSTERS PARTY HARDER (where to eat in Austin):

  • El Primo & Once Over Coffee Bar (South 1st & Live Oak, 78704)- best coffee in town, and this is coming from a dyed in the wool Portland-bred coffee adict. I would also stake my reputation on the fact that El Primo, the trailer in the parking lot, has the best breakfast tacos in town. I’m serious.
  • Thai Fresh (South 5th & Mary, 78704)- healthy, homegrown thai food in a wide open space with a kids corner. This place is run by a wonderful woman of Thai descent. They also have a large case of gluten free and/or vegan deserts. This is where i went for my birthday.
  • Elizabeth Street Cafe (South 1st & Elizabeth, 78704)- this is gourmet Vietnamese food. If you have a meeting with a fancy record exec, meet them here and come off as pretty cool. it’s loud, so you’ll have to lean in close.They have amazing french pastries as well. This is where we went for Andrew’s birthday.
  • Curra’s Grill (614 E Oltorf, 78704)- this is real tex mex, y’all. Get the Avocado Margarita if you are tequila-inclined. i hate margaritas and i love these.
  • Fresa’s Chicken al Carbon (915 N. Lamar)- pieces of amazing chicken to go. this is our newest addiction. Locally sourced and delicious.
  • East Side Kings (there are multiple eastside locations: www.eskaustin.com)- Home fried beets with sour cream sauce among other deliciousness.They have multiple trailers behind various dive bars in East Austin. This place is run by the guy who used to cook for the fanciest sushi joint in town. it’s real.
  • Wheatsville Co-op (N. Guadalupe & 31st, 78705)- It’s our one and only grocery co-op and they do it right. Yes, the Whole Foods is shiny, but it’s downtown and that is going to be a battle. Also, this is LOCAL. put your money where your mouth is. Also put the popcorn tofu where your mouth is… ohmygod.
  • P. Terry’s (multiple locations)- It’s a fast food burger, but a good one. They actually care about what they’re serving you.
  • Blue Dahlia (1115 E 11th S, 78702)- yummy french food. They will give you a fresh salad with every item. If you can’t get in, there are a 5 great cafes within two blocks of here. Including Franklin’s BBQ which sells out by 11am every day, prompting people to line-up at 8am. I think they’re crazy… I wouldn’t wait in line for 2 hours for any kind of food.
  • Taco Deli & Houndstooth Coffee (4200 N Lamar Blvd, 78756)- Ok, there is another place to get a great cappuccino and a great taco up north. if you can’t make it to Once Over & El Primo, this will certainly do. The taco place closes by 3pm, so if you’re super hung over, you may not make it.

Eat well. Have a good time. Stay hydrated. Keep your eyes open. Don’t cross the street against the light. Be nice to all your servers & bartenders. don’t fuckin talk over a quiet show!!
Love you Southby, glad you’re here!

a little perspective

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The grownups over here at the Rose-Press house are under the weather today. Emmett is a wind-up toy spinning about the house. or maybe he’s a pinball in a shabby chic pinball machine. he’s howling with the police sirens and barking with the neighborhood dogs. I’d love for someone to bring me some ginger ale, give me a neck rub while i feel a little sorry for myself and put on a pouty face…

And i got turned on to a blog today by a woman named Lisa who has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. That’s not just a little sick. She has 3 kids and an illness that won’t just go away with a few days of couch time. I immediately run over to Emmett and kiss him until he grunts and pushes my face away. My energy level rises knowing that this minor inconvenience of an illness will vanish within a few days. This woman Lisa doesn’t have that luxury. My heart breaks for a mama who doesn’t get to watch her kids become adults. And going through a very intimate thing out in public. It’s very good for all of us. Thank you Lisa for including us in your journey. It certainly helped me today to read your beautiful perspective.

i think i’ll go kiss my kid some more and be thankful for every second that i get to watch him figure out the world.

Bug&mom by schmidt

photo by the amazing Danny Schmidt in November 2012.

worries

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Some days i’m not sure i can do it. Taking care of an enthusiastic, bright, and beautiful toddler takes all my energy most of the time. Even with my focused partner. This. Is. Hard.

We have two 14 day tours booked in the upcoming future. April on the east coast and May on the west coast. i am honestly terrified about those two tours. Emmett is still nursing to sleep and most shows start right at his bedtime. He requires most of the day time to run in circles, and explore his environment, most tours (even the most thoughtfully booked) require at least 3 hours of travel time a day. At LEAST.

I often wonder if it’s worth the uphill push it requires being a mommy-musician. It is obvious which title would get the back burner. I never attended a day of college so my options are limited in terms of finding another job; i am trained for nothing. I have worked at summer camp, at a preschool, as a nanny and then as an itinerant musician. While i have adored doing all these things, they certainly aren’t jobs that inspire a banker to give you a mortgage. But it’s less about the unsteady pay (i have often said that music is not a great living but it’s a wonderful life) and more about the exhaustion. It takes all my energy to write a song a week while building block towers and attempting to educate, clean and shove some vegetables down my son’s throat. And i’m pretty sure he’s an easy baby. And i’d like to have another in the next few years! what am i, insane?

No, i’m not crazy, i’m just trying to live an authentic life. I always wanted to be a mother and i always wanted to be a musician. As much exhaustive & unsure work as it is, i still don’t see a reason i can’t do both. I hope that my child/ren look at their mother and see someone who gave to them and herself all she had. I think it’s important that our kids see us attempt at things we love, stumble or stride and still feel good about ourselves.

but godamn i could use a day in a spa or something. or a bigass tour bus with beds instead of a minivan.

Home for a few days

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We have been home from Toronto for a few days now.  The weather is perfect.  Emmett is running around like a lunatic, making stacks of blocks and destroying them and saying all kinds of interesting things.  Raina and I are enjoying downtime at home before the chaos of the spring starts.

This week has been spent almost entirely together.  We haven’t really left the house much, except for some errands, dinner at a friend’s house and a nice hang at the Once Over Coffee Bar yesterday.  It seems to be easiest to exist at home with Emmett these days.  He is no longer interested in being held for more than a few minutes at a time.  Running around is far more important.

Next week I will do a 6 night tour with Nancy & Beth.  We are playing Largo in Los Angeles on March 6 (opening for Rhett Miller), The Birchmere in Alexandria, VA on March 8 and the Wilbur Theater in Boston, MA on March 10.

Then I fly back to Austin for 4 nights of SXSW (overcrowded indie rock party that takes over the entirety of Austin, TX). I have about 6 or so gigs and parties to attend.  Lots of friends are coming to town to play shows.  My parents will be here helping with Emmett, which is a huge relief for me and Raina.

Then I fly back to Los Angeles for the night of March 15 to play at Largo with Nancy & Beth.  I’ll be back in Austin before noon on March 16 to play a couple of afternoon gigs and see a few other shows before SXSW closes down.  After that, throw in a quick trip to Houston, a recording session and an SF trip.  I’m already so tired of the airport and I haven’t even packed yet.

It’s going to be a pretty insane couple of weeks.  I will literally fly all over the country.  I will spend 7 of those nights away from Raina and Emmett.  That is definitely the most challenging part of my job.  It puts a strange tax on the entire family.  Emmett is too young for me to explain that I’m even leaving.  I just get out of the car at the airport and show back up a week later.  I wonder what goes through his mind.  Is he wondering where I am?  Is he waiting for me to get back?  Does he even notice I’m gone?

Raina is amazing.  She handles parenting without me like a champ.  She has high morale.  She has amazing patience.  Her comfort in the situation shows Emmett that there is nothing to worry about.  Papa will be home soon.  So he seems to go about his business building block stacks and knocking them down, eating yogurt and sweet potatoes, climbing on Hopi (our dog) and saying fascinating nonsense.

This will be a good trip, though.  The shows are at excellent venues.  The band is sounding great.  The people are some of my favorites.  But I will miss my boy and my lady.  I will think about them constantly when I am sitting, waiting for the next show to start.

4 days in Toronto

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We bundled up the family and took a cab to the airport at 4:45 am on wednesday. Hardly even the morning if you ask me. After a lovely stop in Newark, we landed in Toronto where it was literally 55 degrees colder than sunny Austin, TX. It was all of our first time in Ontario.

The International Folk Alliance is an annual gathering of some of the most hungry, hard working, talented unknown folksingers/folk musicians in the world along with agents, managers, venue owners, house concert hosts and appreciators. Everyone holes up in a fancier-than-normal hotel and goes at it for 4 days and nights. In my younger years i’d have drunk my fill of Irish whisky and stayed up the entire time, singing songs with my folk brethren. This is the second year i’ve attended this shindig as a mommy and my brain is woefully divided, however still happily appeased.

Andrew hosted a showcase room with the imitable Steve Poltz (co-writer of Jewel’s hit “You Were Meant For Me” as well as the guy in the video, he is Oh so much more!) and we brought along Andrew’s parents to help with Emmett. Emmett was a champ and only had a hard time at night when i would nurse him to sleep at a reasonable hour, then wake up and be unsatisfied with anyone, except Thomas the Train until i showed up again, often very late. It’s still very hard for me to leave the baby for more than a few hours. He’s a phantom limb that tingles wildly in my brain. I think i said “I’ve got to go find my baby” more than “our new album Caldera comes out this year and i think it’s pretty good”.

Maybe i could have schmoozed more, maybe i could have played more songs, maybe i could have tried to accomplish the many career goals that are a scant half inch above my head; major festival bookings, enormous booking agent, fancy pants manager guy, famous colleagues… but the truth is, i heard just enough songs by some of my most favorite folk friends, i played my heart out every time i picked up the guitar, and i met some amazing people. i did the best i could do and i feel ever more re-connected to this crazy job. thank goodness there are all these glorious glowing people out there doing it as well.

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i heart Nels Andrews! he wrote this gorgeous lovesong called Wisteria and sang it at our wedding

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3 Penny Acre playing their official showcase

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Canadian legend Corin Raymond sweating music

 

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The Sea, The Sea slaying with gorgeousness

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us at our official showcase! photo by Anna Vogelzang

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my delicious bestie Rebecca Loebe. photo by Mary Granata

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i heart the Birds of Chicago

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Aj Roach & Nuala Kennedy. (hey you guys, move to texas!!)

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mellow afternoon set with Rebecca Loebe and Andrew

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thumbs up from Andrew, Matt The Electrician & Joey Ryan of the Milk Carton Kids

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Dar Williams. such a great show!

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lastly, Andrew & Steve Poltz rocking so hard they were blurry

 

 

It’s only 20 degrees in Toronto

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Tomorrow at 6am the whole Fam jumps on a jet plane to Toronto, ON to take part in the Folk Alliance International, a four day melange of the world’s folk musicians and business people. “Folk conference?!” You say, “yes!” I reply. Every trade has its conference and folk is no different, ours just happens to be a huge party with music overflowing the hallways morning and night. We’ve been meeting in Memphis for the last 7 years and now we are in Toronto. In February. A beautiful time to be in Canada. Brrrrr.
I don’t think we have enough warm clothing. It’s in the 70′s in Austin. I’ll let you know how it goes and post pics when I have them!